So, I was going to write about my devotion that I read the other day, but I can't communicate it to you as well as the original author, so just read this excerpt and know that it really spoke to me and I hope that it speaks to you too.
This comes from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers
"...Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid.." (Matthew 14:29-30)
The wind really was boisterous and the waves really were high, but Peter didn't see them at first. He didn't consider them at all; he simply recognized his Lord, stepped out in recognition of Him, and "walked on the water." Then he began to take those things around him into account, and instantly, down he went. Why couldn't our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves, as well as on top of them? He could have, yet neither could be done without Peter's continuing recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances....
...If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, "Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?" Be reckless immediately-totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything-by casting your all upon Him.
Any of you who know me know that this devotional had to speak to me, but just so that you know, it didn't speak to me because I feel like I have done as well or better than Peter when he stepped out of the boat to go to Jesus. To be honest, I feel like I've got a long way to go before my feet are even over the edge of the boat. Right now I think that I may be standing up in the boat at the most and saying to myself, "Hey, there is Jesus and I want to go to Him!" So if you want to pray for me, please pray that I'll step out of the boat every chance that I get and walk to Jesus, keeping my eyes focused on Him. I'll leave you with the last little part of the devotional from Oswald Chambers for June 18th, and I encourage you to be reckless...Immediately when you hear His voice. Even though you will almost certainly sink at some point, He'll be there to catch your hand.
You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness-being willing to risk your all.